


Keen Mind

by calysto1395



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Canon Typcial Violence, Gen, Panic, caleb's past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 12:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calysto1395/pseuds/calysto1395
Summary: It was the best possible plan they had had, Caleb has to reassure himself.





	Keen Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This scene wouldn't leave me alone and I wrote it before it was revealed that Yeza was taken by the Kryn. Just take some angst.

It was the best possible plan they had had, Caleb has to reassure himself. 

 

He was fine, he could do this, he had told them he could. He had thrown up twice before it all started, but that had been hours ago. 

 

After the disguise spell, it had been easier to steady himself. He’d had Beauregard and Fjord examine it with a critical eye, and Caleb even managed to stifle his accent until it was barely noticeable. 

 

He was the one who knew them, even ten years past, he had the knowledge of how they operated, at least somewhat. It made sense, that it had to be him while the others searched for Yeza. They could handle the guards, nothing more than trained sword hands. Eodwulf was another matter. Facing him one on one would have meant death for them all or worse. Better to distract him. Caleb could do it, he would be fine. He repeated this, for the more he said it, the more true it became.

 

When Caduceus had volunteered to be with him as well, his throat had seized up. The last thing he wanted was an audience for this., but the other last thing he wanted was to be alone. 

 

It had been going fine, or so he had thought. Getting Eodwulf alone under the pretense of being sent by Ikithon to oversee progress with the alchemist was lucky. But when had he ever had luck in his life?

 

“You know….” Eodwulf walked casually towards the door to Caleb’s back. He heard the lock click into place and felt the sweat break, at least it was invisible under his disguised self. “My memory was never as good as yours.” His heart was beating a hole into his chest, and he tried to calm himself. Caduceus was right here with him, even if he was invisible. It was going to be fine, surely. They had pulled through worse since the firbolg was at their side. 

 

“I wasn’t aware we’ve met before.” Caleb said. Was his voice trembling or did he imagine it? Had his accent been this prominent their entire conversation? He couldn’t remember. Couldn’t. 

 

“We both know you’ve been lying to me since you came into this room.” Eodwulf stepped into his field of vision again. Caleb felt frozen on the spot, but knew there was no magic holding him. 

 

Caleb inclined his head in a show of submission. There was sweat on his brow, he wondered if it was dripping through his disguise. “I assure you, I’ve been honest.” 

 

Before he could finish the sentence, he felt the cold brush of the dispel spell wash over him. The magic faded from his skin.

 

Eodwulf sighed, his suspicion confirmed. “You’ve changed, Bren.” 

 

His blood was rushing in his ears. 

 

‘We reached the cell door now, Caleb. We need a few more minutes, you can reply to this message,’ He barely registered Nott’s voice as he stared straight ahead at his former friend. Caduceus was still here, wasn’t he? Maybe he was alone. Abandoned. Just as he deserved. He glanced around the room but there wasn’t even the slightest shimmer in the air. Alone. 

 

“So have you.” Caleb said and pointed upwards. “You grew your hair out, it looks good.”

 

Eodwulf looked utterly indifferent. It was an expression he was all too familiar with on a different face. “Thank you. What are you doing here?” He asked nonchalantly, and Caleb realized at once how much taller Eodwulf was than him. 

 

“I-” His throat was so dry. 

 

“It’s been years. We thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere.”  Eodwulf cut him off. His voice grew more and more tense. There was restrained fury behind his eyes. That, he was also familiar with, but not from Eodwulf. 

 

Eodwulf hadn’t been violent and furious all the time. Caleb used to be confident, and that was the least severe change that the years had done to him. Astrid had been kind. 

 

Their plan had failed, as most of their plans had. Even the plans that worked ended with him face down in the dirt, so he had to come up with something  _ fast _ , or he wouldn’t even make it that far. 

 

“Yes. I wanted-” He couldn’t bring the words out. He felt the bile rise in his throat, but he couldn’t throw up now. He had to think. Everyone always said he was smart, but he’d never felt more stupid. “I wanted to come back.” Caleb finally got out. Nails and thorns choking his throat. 

 

“Come back?” Eodwulf scoffed. “You pretended to be mad, ran away, killed one of our own and you have the audacity-” 

 

“I didn’t pretend.” Caleb said and immediately shrunk under Eodwulf’s gaze. “I didn’t. I was. I was very confused. For the longest time.” 

 

“So confused that the first thing you steal is an amulet of non-detection. Curious, for someone out of their mind.” There was tension in Eodwulf’s jaw. He’d never had had a temper before. Caleb remembered. He remembered everything. Eodwulf the patron of patience, studying late into the night even as Caleb and Astrid pestered him. 

 

“I needed a long time to process… what we did that night.” He said, unable to make himself speak the words in case Caduceus was in the room after all. Even now he was a coward. Sooner or later they would all know. The past wouldn’t let him have it. 

 

Eodwulf took a deep breath. 

 

“That night wasn’t easy for any of us.” 

 

“But I was weak. I knew I couldn’t-” He couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, forcing him to pause and heave. “I couldn’t serve the Empire like that. But I’m stronger now. I’ve learned.” Every word was poison on his tongue, slowly rotting away his insides. A few more minutes Nott had said. How much time had passed since then? They had set their plan in motion at midday, 11 hours and 17 minutes, he knew. Had it been hours yet? Or even minutes? 

 

Eodwulf crossed his arms over his chest. “Have you now?” He examined Caleb from head to toe. Caleb felt like a child under the scrutiny of an adult. He was ashamed of the dirt on his face that wouldn’t help hide him now, the holes in his clothing, and the scars on his arms seemed to burn even hidden under the bandages. “Why come disguised then?” 

 

Caleb helplessly let out a laugh, half manic, half desperate. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I haven’t seen you in years. You must understand my hesitation to approach you directly.” 

 

Eodwulf hummed, thoughtful. “Had it been Astrid, she would have flayed you where you stood.” 

 

“And rightfully so. But I’d like the chance to prove my worth, and I knew I could show you I have changed. I’d hate to have wasted his time.” He said, and the bile rose once again. This time it was easier to swallow down. He used to be good at talking, he could do this. 

 

“You truly wish to return to us?” 

 

He had to take a shallow breath, tried to recall Nott’s words. Minutes, she had said, minutes. 

 

“I do.” He said. 

 

Something soft broke through the surface of Eodwulf’s gaze. “So, you are mad after all.” 

 

“Do you think he will kill me?” At last, a simple question, one he knew the answer to already.  

 

“He will do unspeakable horrors to you.” 

 

Caleb had a vivid imagination and the experience to back it up. His hands were shaking. “Do you think I deserve them?” He asked. 

 

“For abandoning empire? Abandoning us?” Eodwulf replied. And there it was. Betrayal, disappointment. More prominent than the rage. “Yes. I do.” 

 

Caleb gave him a pressed smile. “Me too.” At last, the truth. 

 

“And yet.” Eodwulf said, carefully masking his expression into nonchalance again. 

 

“And yet. I know I’ve made mistakes. I’d like to make amends.” 

 

Eodwulf breathed deeply, his arms falling to his sides before he raised one hand to drag across his face. 

 

“We looked for you, you know? We were worried. Master Ikithon thought it was foolish, but we still did it. Back then we thought it worth the punishment.” 

 

Caleb’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I’m sorry.” His limbs ached with phantom pain of long healed hurts. He knew Eodwulf had wounds to match, their arms mirrors of the other. 

 

“I missed you, Bren.” Eodwulf said and put a hand on the side of Caleb’s neck. It felt violent even if it didn’t injure. “Astrid missed you.” 

 

“I did too.” He said, his voice barely rising above a whisper. 

 

The hand on his neck tightened. “You’ve always been a good liar.” Eodwulf said. “But so am I.” 

 

His breath left his lungs in a flash as the cold burn of pain radiated into his whole body. The taste of death in the back of his throat as he felt himself wither under Eodwulf’s hand. He felt blind for a split second, darkness engulfing him as he dropped to his knees. His hands barely caught himself when he dropped forward. The veins under his skin had turned dark and grey, his skin almost white. Necrotic energy ripped at his soul for what felt like an eternity. 

 

Eodwulf casually took a step backwards. “We both know this is going to be much more painful from here on out. How about you save us both the time and tell me-” 

 

Caleb looked up from where he was still gasping on the floor.

 

Eodwulf was stood still in place. Behind him Caduceus appeared with a shimmer in the air and his hand still raised. 

 

“We do want to hurry, this won’t hold him long.” Caduceus told him, his brow furrowed in concentration. 

 

Caleb got onto shaky feet. They had 60 seconds at most, his brain supplied. Eodwulf would break it sooner. He took his scarf off his neck and wrapped it around Eodwulf’s eyes. The less Eodwulf could glean of Caduceus, the better, as he didn’t have a stolen amulet.

 

“He hasn’t seen you. Don’t speak any further.” He told Caduceus, who nodded and carefully but swiftly stepped towards the door. His forehead was knotted in concentration. 

 

Locked, Caleb remembered even before he touched the door.  His only spell to open it would alert everyone in the hideout, guard and allies alike. They had seconds at most. There was no time. He felt dizzy, the spell Eodwulf had used on him still clung to him and stole his breath. No more time. 

 

He opened the door. They ran. 

 

He didn’t look back. He could do this.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Spells cast:
> 
> Disguise Self 1st lvl  
> Dispel Magic 3rd lvl  
> Blight 4th lvl - 35 dmg (which brought Caleb down to 14 HP in one hit)  
> Hold Person 2nd lvl  
> Knock 2nd lvl 
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful beta EchoedMusic!


End file.
